Confidence and Self-Appreciation
Confidence has been something I have always struggled with. Ever since I was in the fourth grade, I’ve picked on small things about myself, whether it be how dark my knees were, or my height. Going into high school, those insecurities only became stronger and harder to fight.
The comparisons began. “What does she have that I don’t?” I’d ask myself. “Should my hair be longer like hers, or straighter like hers?”
Like hers. How can I make mine like hers? I also cared too much about the expectations from guys. Did he prefer them with long legs and a perfect posture?
I fed my insecurities by looking at celebrities, at Tik-Tok stars, and Instagram models. What did she have that I don’t? I became blinded by the lies of the perfect girl with the perfect life on social media.
It became hard to take pictures with my friends because I was scared people would see me next to them and odd me out. I stopped going to social gatherings, and, because of it, I lost a lot of my friends. It took me over three years before I realized how much damage I was doing to myself. There would be days when I didn’t eat, and days when I ate too much. It was not until I completely erased social media from my phone that I managed to pick myself up. I looked for support from my friends and family. Slowly, I learned to appreciate what I have for what it is and stop comparing myself.