You Can’t Carry Everyone Home

Image by Michal Jarmoluk from Pixabay

Shi Weinhold | Writer

Being a good friend has always been important to me. For me, this meant caring about the people in my life and wanting the best for them.

When someone I care about is struggling, my first instinct is to help. But sometimes, caring about the people around me comes with anxiety that I can’t always control.

My friends have their own worries and personal issues that I try to help them through. At the same time, when multiple people in my life are going through difficult situations, it can become overwhelming.

I often remind myself that I cannot fix everyone's problems, but I pride myself on trying to find the answers. This sort of thing leaves me feeling anxious and unable to focus on my own issues.

 When I already have thoughts and worries of my own, adding someone else's problems ends up feeling like too much. I need to understand that I can care about someone while also recognizing that I am struggling with my own emotions.

I have recognized that giving myself space is a healthy decision in balancing my anxieties with my friend's problems. This gives me time to process my own thoughts rather than continue to stress on my friend’s issues.

I have also begun talking to my partner. Talking about what is going on helps me work through what I am feeling without dumping everything on her.

Learning to set boundaries is something I am still working on. It can be difficult to accept that I cannot always be the person who makes everything okay.

At the end of the day, I love my friends dearly and having them apart of my life is something I will always be grateful for. As a child, I have always wished for a strong group of friends.

I may not always have the answers for the people closest to me, but I hope they know that I will always care.