Relationships Are Not My Thing and Here’s Why

Alina Dewindt | Editor

I am often seen as a lonely cat lady when I say I don’t need to be in a relationship. And I give my family and friends an existential crisis when I say, "I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone; what’s the point of it?" My desire to live without a significant other stems from something more profound than simply stating it. I'm not sure I'm ready for one.

My discomfort with being in a relationship with someone comes down to my insecurities and the social anxiety I feel whenever I talk to a person and relate to them. And the idea of having an emotional and physical bond with someone is enough to make me want to curl up in a hole and suffer in silence. Sorry, Mom.

But that doesn’t mean I hate anyone in a romantic relationship. No, I support anyone in a relationship as long as they’re healthy and learn to have a great communication system going on with each other.

The main reason why relationships are not my thing is because of the culture that we live in. With people over-sharing their relationships on social media and the use of dating apps, people go into relationships for their selfish desires to fill an empty void in their hearts rather than being with someone to help them influence their physical and mental health needs.

But why won’t you try to let a person in? Surely anyone in this world would want to date you, right?

I’ll admit that I’m very stubborn, and I'd rather keep my independence than spend my well-being focusing on a person and wondering in the back of my mind if they love me or not. Also, I will not suffer the emotional turmoil of that person leaving me for petty reasons. In a sense, my decision to focus on my future career and my platonic relationships with my family and friends would be an act of service to the world.

Besides, I will be here as the book-obsessed, latte-drinking, hyperactive friend with enough on her plate.

My best advice is for anyone who has a desire for a romantic relationship. Please learn to love yourself mentally and physically before you decide to love anyone else.